Almost thirty years ago at Because of the Times I heard a story that dropped out of nowhere while I was writing the concluding notes of this message. Sometimes you hear stories that unfold because you are in a good place of fellowship with other ministers. There are other times that the stories seem to press their way into your world and almost thirty years after they were told the impact is still being felt. This one that I heard took place sometime in the mid-90’s. I can even remember exactly where I was sitting that day. It was in one of the third or fourth rows of pews just to the right facing that historic conference pulpit. In those days BOTT did not have a registration process, it was on a “first come-first serve” basis although it was stressed that it was a meeting for ministers. There were no assigned seats and in my youthful exuberance and inspiration, I would camp out in the sanctuary to get a good seat. Those were the days when the theme of revival was being preached all over the place. Looking back, I think that “revival” meant these spontaneous moves of the Spirit that created a great desire for the harvest of the lost, consecration in prayer for the ministry, holiness that was stressed, a separation from the world that was actively preached, and just a general sense of spiritual awakening in local churches that would extend to districts and then on to a national basis. At the time there were powerful local churches and strong anointed preaching from some of the most gifted preachers that I have ever heard in my life.
Sitting immediately in front of me were three ministers that were probably in their ‘40’s and they were talking about Brother J. T. Pugh, who had preached earlier in the day. To this day, I can think that as I was in my late twenties, these pastors were “old.” Now that three decades have passed, my thoughts on that have certainly changed very significantly. One of those pastors began to relate to the other two how strong of an influence that Brother Pugh had been in his life and ministry. All of this was done primarily with cassette tapes, driving great distances to hear Brother Pugh preach, and the slight chance that you might have the opportunity to speak to Brother Pugh. I have written at length in the past about Brother Pugh’s influence on me and while I haven’t even come close to making the impact on the world that he did, I am so thankful that there were five different times where I was able to spend time with him. Two of those times were at BOTT where he spent around 45 minutes just talking to me and another time was when he was in Brewton, Alabama at one of our licensing seminars and I was with him almost an hour in the old kitchen of that church.
The pastor at BOTT was telling these other men that he had gone down to a service in Orange, Texas where Brother Roy Gerald had pastored. He said that Brother Pugh had been invited to preach at the service. He told how at that time he probably was in his mid-20’s so I am guessing the timing would have been in the late 70’s or maybe the early ‘80’s. This pastor said that Brother Pugh was his hero and the shaping influence of Brother Pugh on him had been through the avenue of preaching. I am still sort of caught up with that when people say that preaching does not work. From personal experience, every single man who has had significant influence on me were men of God who were highly anointed and serious preachers. There is no way to even measure how many sermons that I heard through all my years that created a spiritual inertia in me to do the will of God.
He told those other pastors that he had walked into the sanctuary in Orange that evening and it was dimly lit. Back in the day there was a type of lighting that was used in a lot of church sanctuaries. They were called sconce lights that were used along the exterior walls and were mounted just a little above head high. When he came in through the back door, he immediately heard someone down in the right front corner praying and groaning around the altar. So, not wanting to intrude he sat down in one of the back corners and just quietly started to pray. It wasn’t too long before he recognized that Brother Pugh was the one who was praying in that sanctuary. He said it was an intense prayer time! Groaning, weeping, crying out, in fact a wrestling type of prayer was taking place. He said that he felt like he was intruding but he told those men it was almost as if he was rooted to the ground and couldn’t leave. He said he felt guilty for listening to Brother Pugh pray but he said it was like he was in a prayer class, a spiritual laboratory, and he was gaining some excellent spiritual advice about how to pray. This brother’s “intrusion” on this prayer meeting has served me as well for a long time now. Furthermore, I intend on praying this for the rest of my days on this earth.
Brother Pugh started had an agonized cry in his prayer: O God, please, please save me from myself! O God, O God, please save me from myself! Over and over that prayer was called forth with passion, intensity, surrender, introspection, and humility. The young man at that time said that it so startled him to hear that kind of prayer coming from this great man of God. Words cannot express how that he was so shocked and taken aback by it. However, he said that as the years have flown by, he now knew what that prayer was all about. As I wrote out that message, I wondered about those three pastors. I wonder where they are now. I wonder if any of them have passed on to their rewards as they would be in the late ‘70’s and early ‘80’s by now? But the clear thing for me is that I have been around long enough now to have seen some tragic mistakes, shipwrecks, and some even have become enemies of the Cross who got destroyed by “themselves” so to speak. I also know others who have had tremendous faithfulness and commitment because they learned how to pray in this manner, and they will be saved! Ask yourself this question: do you have an exact prayer like this or one that is like it?
The biggest dilemma of our walk is not with others but with ourselves. That will always be the problem even though too many are not willing to even concede that as a point. I hope that you felt the connection of that prayer that Brother Pugh prayed. I pray that I described it well enough for you to see it and to have felt it.
If you are looking for legal thrillers like John Grisham, Scott Turow, Michael Connelly, or even Harper Lee, I don’t think they write things that deal with the eternal souls of man. Think for a moment about the court that is in your soul. There are preachers who could rebuke you as Paul called for them to do. There are fellow saints that could accuse you of sinful practices, but the preachers and the accusers are not around you 24/7. The conscience is and it is keeping a ledger and balance sheet that never is under the weariness of the flesh, the conscience never sleeps nor is it silent. It is always recording deeds, words, actions that will be weighed in an eternal scale. Sometimes the conscience whispers and other times it thunders!
You could use tactics to slant a jury, you might even be able to silence a judge, tarnish the reputation of someone who was attempting to get you on a course correction, but you cannot ever shut down that inward voice. It keeps moving, speaking, reasoning, accusing or else excusing both righteous and sinful acts. No one considers that the voice recording of the conscience is going to be played one day in the presence of God and his holy angels. If the conscience is crying out now, what in the world will it do then?
Actions of a fall cannot be covered with fig leaves. The secret and stolen spoils of war cannot be hidden under the floor a tent like Achan did, they ultimately outed him. You may have played those lustful, ambitious, proud thoughts and loved them as “bosom sins” as the Puritans frequently called them. Perhaps they could be understood as “heart sins” in our day and they are very resistant to strong preaching, and they try to reason with you just as Agag tried to save his own life from the hacking sword of Samuel. My friends, please don’t let the secret sins that Agag would preserve destroy you! Flee to the cross and let the Lord deal with them now or they will be dealt with by the Judge on that Great Day. You cannot afford to run from your conscience, let the Lord purify it with the most powerful blood covering in existence.
Preaching that is without probing application will always be that which sells short ourselves and those who hear us (1 Tim. 4:16), so with that in mind here are some concluding questions for you to consider. Let them place your soul in complete assurance so that you are brought from a place of terror to the residence of peace.
- When was the last time your conscience warned you and you silenced it?
- Have you trained your conscience by Scripture?
- Have you numbed it by continued searing and ignoring it?
- Is your conscience tender or just quiet?
- Do you feel conviction less now than you did a year ago, or five years ago, or ten years ago?
- Is your conscience a compass or a corpse?
- What part of your life could not stand public exposure?
- What sin do you practice in private but condemn in public?
God save us from ourselves!
Thanks for reading. . .
Philip Harrelson
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